The US is reconfiscated by the British, according to John Cleese. Hilarious!
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, ”My friend is dead! What can I do??”
The operator says, “Calm down, let’s make sure he’s dead”. There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, “Okay, now what?”
@VVD Elektronische sigaret verbieden want gezondheidsrisico? Waarom zijn echte sigaretten dan nog niet verboden?? #omdatdaaraccijnsopzit
Original Tweet: http://twitter.com/maurits_h/status/153895651250409472
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De veroorzaker van een ongeluk waardoor file ontstaat zou drie maanden rijontzegging moeten krijgen. #zouwelhelpendenkik
Original Tweet: http://twitter.com/maurits_h/status/149040642763399168
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Ich bin nicht zu dick, ich bin nur zu kurz geraten.
– Gunter Gabriel, 2011
Even though it’s a well known anecdote, it’s worth repeating…
Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with cold water. After a while, another ape makes an attempt with the same result – all the apes are sprayed with cold water. Turn off the cold water. If, later, another ape tries to climb the stairs, the other apes will try to prevent it even though no water sprays them.
Now, remove one ape from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new ape sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the other apes attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five apes and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm.
Again, replace a third original ape with a new one. The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well. Two of the four apes that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest ape.
After replacing the fourth and fifth original apes, all the apes which have been sprayed with cold water have been replaced. Nevertheless, no ape ever again approaches the stairs. Why not? Because that’s the way it’s always been around here. Sounds familiar?
Says a priest to a philosopher: “Isn’t philosophy just like entering a dark room in search of a black cat that might not even be there?”
Replies the philosopher: “Isn’t religion just like entering a dark room in search of a black cat that might not even be there and claiming you found it?”
– Herman van Veen, 2011
I don’t know if it was actually aired, but this really has to be the funniest commercial ever, if you ask me…
I always forget to follow up on promises I make in mails I send, so I wrote some VBA code to inspect all outgoing mails for certain key phrases. If one of them is found, Outlook will ask if it should mark the mail as a task and set a reminder on it.
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Well, I guess it was time. I recently checked my old homepage and was shocked to see it was dated somewhere in 2000 (more than ten years ago!). It’s not like I have a lot to say, but ten years… damn!
So here it is: my first WordPress site. Yeuh…